Yes, it’s that time of the year again.
A lot of us made resolutions last year and never accomplished one thing on that list; some lost the list others don’t even remember what was on that list. But like clockwork, the year is gradually rounding to a close and pens and paper are flying.
Why do we even bother, what’s the use?
So how do you resolve well? This is trickier than it sounds. Here are some tips for making your resolutions as effective as possible.
1. Ask yourself: “What would make me happier?” It might having more of something good —more fun with friends, more time for a hobby. It might be less of something bad —less yelling at your kids, less nagging of your spouse. It might be fixing something that doesn’t feel right or maybe you need to get an atmosphere of growth in your life by learning something new, helping someone, or fixing something that isn’t working properly.
2. Ask yourself: “What is a concrete action that would bring change?” One common problem is that people make abstract resolutions, which are hard to keep. “Be more optimistic,” “Find more joy in life,” “Enjoy now,” are resolutions that are hard to measure and therefore difficult to keep. Instead, look for a specific, measurable action. “Distract myself with fun music when I’m feeling gloomy,” “Watch at least one movie each week,” are resolutions that will carry you toward those abstract goals.
3. Ask yourself: “Am I starting small enough?”
Many people make super-ambitious resolutions and then drop them, feeling defeated, before January is over. Start small! We tend to over-estimate what we can do over a short time and under-estimate what we can do over a long time, if we make consistent, small steps. If you’re going to resolve to start exercising (one of the most popular resolutions), don’t resolve to go to the gym for an hour every day before work. Start by going for a ten-minute walk at lunch or marching in place once a day during the commercial breaks in your favourite TV show. Little accomplishments provide energy for bigger challenges. The humble resolution you actually follow is more helpful than the ambitious resolution you abandon.
4. Ask: “How am I going to hold myself accountable?” Accountability is the secret to sticking to resolutions. That’s why groups like AA and Weight Watchers are effective. There are many ways to hold yourself accountable; for example, keep a Resolutions Chart.
Accountability is why #2 is so important. If your resolution is too vague, it’s hard to measure whether you’ve been keeping it. A resolution to “Eat healthier” is harder to track than “Eat salad for lunch three times a week.”
Now that that has been cleared up, lets take the steps
1. Create a Plan
Setting a goal without formulating a plan is merely wishful thinking. In order for your resolution to have resolve, (as the word "resolution" implies), it must translate into clear steps that can be put into action. A good plan will tell you A) What to do next and B) What are all of the steps required to complete the goal.
2. Create Your Plan IMMEDIATELY
If you're like most people, then you'll have a limited window of opportunity during the first few days of January to harness your motivation. After that, most people forget their resolutions completely.
It is imperative that you begin creating your plan immediately.
3. Write Down Your Resolution and Plan
Commit your resolution and plan to writing someplace, such as a notebook or journal.
4. Think "Year Round," Not Just New Year's
Nothing big gets accomplished in one day. Resolutions are set in one day, but accomplished with a hundred tiny steps that happen throughout the year. New Year's resolutions should be nothing more than a starting point. You must develop a ritual or habit for revisiting your plan.
5. Remain Flexible
Expect that your plan can and will change. Life has a funny way of throwing unexpected things at us, and flexibility is required to complete anything but the simplest goal. Sometimes the goal itself will even change. Most of all, recognize partial successes at every step along the way. Just as a resolution isn't accomplished the day it's stated, neither is it accomplished the day you reach your goal. Rather, it's accomplished in many small increments along the way. Acknowledge these incremental successes as they come.
6. Accept failure
If you do fail and sneak a cigarette, miss a walk or shout at the kids one morning don’t hate yourself for it. Make a note of the triggers that caused this set back and vow to learn a lesson from them.
If you know that alcohol makes you crave cigarettes and oversleep the next day cut back on it. If you know the morning rush before school makes you shout then get up earlier or prepare things the night before to make it easier on you.
Perseverance is the key to success. Try again, keep trying and you will succeed.
And finally...
7. Plan rewards
Small rewards are great encouragement to keep you going during the hardest first days. After that you can probably reward yourself once a week with a magazine, a long-distance call to a supportive friend, a siesta, a trip to the movies or whatever makes you tick.
Later you can change the rewards to monthly and then at the end of the year you can pick an anniversary reward. Something that you’ll look forward to. You deserve it and you’ll have earned it.
Whatever your plans and goals are for 2012 I do wish you luck with them but remember, it’s your life and you make your own luck.
Decide what you want to do in 2012, plan how to get it and go for it. I’ll definitely be cheering you on.
Are you planning to make a New Year’s resolution in 2012? What is it and is it something you’ve tried to do before or something new?
